I used to subscribe to the notion that we could wipe away our personal responsibilities simply by stating, “If you have an issue with me, look in the mirror … that is your issue not mine.” Or how about this one, “Don’t take things personally. What other people say about you is their reality, not yours.”
That’s encouraging, safe and a great sentiment, but it’s simply not true, unfortunately in my case anyway. Not all the time.
“Don’t stop taking things personally to the extent that you absolve yourself of any responsibility.”
Amen. Personal Responsibility. Sometimes, just sometimes…we should take what others say about us, feel about us, and think about us personally! To an extent, because there in lies growth, a better understanding of self and an opportunity for change and betterment. I don’t take everything personally, but I do respect the opinions of a select few in my life that have something to say about my actions, behaviors and moods; good or bad.
I try to take responsibility for these things and don’t just simply brush them off as someone else’s issue all the time. That’s just wrong in my eyes and it’s letting yourself off the hook too easily. It’s blindness to the fact that, yes, your actions and behaviors affect those around you in positive or negative ways and that is your very own personal issue that may or may not need to be brought to the light by someone else who sees you clearly.
I try not to pass blame, especially if the person that is trying to get through to me has some truly constructive things to say. It may hurt, it may boost my self esteem. Either or, it can actually be about me and not you.
And vice versa!