“Your time is coming. You’ve waited and hoped for a long time. It’s right around the corner. You are on the cusp. It’s time to push and work harder than ever. Don’t allow discouragement to infiltrate your thoughts. Stay positive, stay focused and stay determined. The greatest resistance comes just before the biggest moments of your life. Stay the course. In one moment, everything will change.”
I am learning to handle things, that don’t necessarily go my way, with grace as best as I can. My car broke down on the road the other week and turns out, the transmission went. I was safe, and thankfully got it home. It is too old for it to be worth fixing, so it went to the scrap yard today.
There goes the last bits of freedom I had for the time being. But at least she took me on a grand tour of the U.S. before she her time was up! The image above is of her last trek on open roads – complete freedom. Even our cars deserve that.
Now that it’s actually gone and I was awarded a $100 check for my parts, it somehow feels finite. It somehow stings more. I was okay with it all up until the final hand shake on the deal.
I guess it’s just sinking in that I don’t have anywhere to go. I can walk around my parent’s neighborhood for exercise, but that is about it. And, quite frankly, that gets boring without music. I don’t have music because my phone had been shut off months ago.
Not much more can be taken away from me at this moment. I have lost my apartment, a lot of my friends, my money, my car, my job, my dignity, etc…all mostly due to this disorder.
I have to just suck it all up and be grateful that I have a roof over my head, a computer and food to eat.