I should get this onsie for my father. Just as a momento to remind him of the night I whipped open his door, running into him in his tighty whities and still steamin’ from the epic fight we had seconds before in front of all his neighbors. It was over finances and the fact that he thought I was acting like Mother Earth again. We called eachother sick as I challenged him to fight me in front of everyone on the porch. I told him to show his friends how he really treated me. I burst into my parents bedroom only to blurt out the last kicker, “Andddd….I’m probably pregnant!” He screamed, “Good!” Then, SLAM! I meant it too, and he still kicked me out. To this day he doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t care. And neither do I. That’s a lie. I do care. A lot. I wanted my baby. For the first time in my life and for many, many reasons not many understand. But it turns out, the test was simply negative.