On the Verge, With Gratitude

I’m on the verge of Thanking You. As I lay down every night, I wrap my heart in gratitude, but as you know well, it’s easier to know deep within than to spit it out into words.

I’ll try my damndest to articulate it, because I believe everyone should be told what they mean to you and what they have done to play a role in shaping your life…no matter how paradoxical the lessons may seem or even how mundane. That being said, never forget to give credit to yourself for dissecting these deeper truths to achieve better understanding.

To articulate, to expand, to better understand and apply, to create new ideas and to bring clarity to all aspects of life, I must study in my own way. Not because you said to, but because it now excites me and it is now vital.

I once steered clear because with every man’s truth, there is another man’s contradiction. It was frustrating because I saw both sides most of the time. But as I narrow my focus and delve into that which resonates with me deeply, I’ll more easily sift through. I cannot sit on this edge, balancing with both hands full, if I am to grasp anything new and move into my own truth.

I also steered clear because I was rushed. I was panicked. I was in tremendous pain. I was angry. I had little brain power left to absorb such profound beauty before me. And my heart was too hardened to absorb that amount of Love.

Ironically, deep down, I was afraid of my own light and power within. Many of us are and don’t realize our fullest potential. I knew how to harness it and how to absorb it. But handling it and using it effectively and creatively was scary. Once something is known and understood … something that could help others and our own personal growth … it cannot simply be stored uselessly, collecting dust or in my case – regurgitated with swigs of gin. It’s a responsibility to express and to share with clarity and precision. And responsibility can be quite scary.


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