If I had another chance, I would tell this to the man who believes he doesn’t deserve me:
“The fact that she scares you means that you truly grasp what kind of woman she is, and therefore, there isn’t anyone more deserving of her than you.”
If he only knew. I was so taken aback when he said that to me that I didn’t have the words to reply, yet my heart was screaming because I felt the same way about him. And it is rare. I knew the moment I met him that this was either not going to end well or it was going to be amazing.
And here I sit, somewhere in between.
“Does she scare you a little? Good. She should make you fear her love, so that when she lets you be a part of it, you won’t take it lightly. She should remind you of the power that beauty brings, that storms reside in her veins, and that she still wants you in the middle of it all. Do not take this soul for granted, for she is fierce, and she can take you places that you never thought you could go; but she is still loving in the midst of it all, like the calm rain after a storm, she can bring life. Learn her, and cherish her, respect her, and love her; for she is so much more than a pretty face, she is a soul set on fire.” ~ Unknown
“Do you feel your pulse quicken as she nears?
Does she make you tremble inside, wondering how a woman like her could ever fall for a man like you?
Good—then that’s how you know you’ve found a woman who scares you, and now that you have, this is how to love her.
We are only scared by those aspects of our lives that also could provide the greatest amount of growth.
If it doesn’t scare us even a little, then it possesses no power to change our lives, and the only guarantee about great love is that it is meant to do just that.
You have to love her as a decision in the beginning—one that is made by not walking away from what you don’t understand, because you’re not meant to right away.
She isn’t an open book, even if it seems that there isn’t anything hiding behind her wide, soulful eyes.
She lives with a truth pulsing in her veins which brings the blush to her lips that you so desire, but it’s not just that you are drawn to, but it’s the very essence around her.
This woman who scares you doesn’t do it because she is terrifyingly beautiful or because she is all wrong for you—she scares you because so much about her just feels so damn right.
It will be hard to not get scared off in the beginning and reduce her amazing qualities into nothing more than coincidences that have seemingly blinded you from the reality that all along you believed you weren’t ever deserving of real love.
But no matter how much you question how it could be real or how it could ever work—the only thing that matters is that it is and it will.
She scares you because she connects with you on a deeper level than anyone else you have ever known—and while it’s scary to give up the skeptical shield that has kept you safe from ever truly having your heart broken, you have to understand that she isn’t here to teach you the lesson of heartbreak, but instead what it feels like when you finally throw your whole heart open to giving and receiving love.
She isn’t after promises, just the beauty of what it feels like when you truly just show up for her, being present in the moment and letting your walls down far enough so that she might get to see your heart and the unbridled love that grows there.
To love a woman who scares you means that every single day, you are going to have to wake up and pinch yourself because she will leave you wondering what you ever did to deserve a woman like her.
It won’t be done with weekly nail appointments or lips stained in the latest trending color. It won’t even be done with perfumes from Paris or meeting you on your lunch break for an afternoon delight.
It will simply be because she lets herself be naked with you.
Not just her physicality, though she does let you gaze upon her in the glow of soft lights, so that you won’t miss a single soft curve her body has created.
But in her very soul, her eyes open, longing for you to meet her in this place where you both can forgive your fears long enough to begin to dance in the love that is just yearning to grow.
To love a woman who scares you means admitting that there is something different about her, but just because you realize that doesn’t mean you will ever be able to pinpoint what that means.
Especially if you try to use words to describe her—for she is far beyond just the syllables and adjectives that our lips create to try to describe what it is we are feeling.
She is something more, and because of that you will have to grow into something more.
Don’t ever think for one instant that it’s a task you aren’t up for; just because it seems like a challenge doesn’t mean it’s not precisely the very thing you are meant to do.
The fact that she scares you means that you truly grasp what kind of woman she is, and therefore, there isn’t anyone more deserving of her than you.
It’s not about being unsure if you are both in the same place, or even about figuring out logistics to see if it could become a reality, and it’s certainly not about making any sort of lists or rationalizations about a woman like her.
The only thing to do with a woman that scares you is to never give up on her.
Because to love a man she scares won’t always be an easy task for her either, but the one thing I can guarantee is that you scare her too.
She sees something in you that she never expected to find, and at times, she doesn’t always know what to do with a man like you. Just like you’re not always sure what to do with a woman like her.
That’s why the only way to love a woman who scares you is to just do the best you can each and every day, knowing that she doesn’t expect you get it perfect all the time.
She only wants you to try.
Because whether it ends as a lesson or love—there’s no doubt you will never meet another woman like her.
So why not try? Because she just may be the greatest risk worth taking.”